kirstie

Decluttering : Space : : Detoxing : Body Part 2 – Team Family!

In chi, Clutter, Emotions, Life skills, Lifestyle on September 20, 2014 at 1:18 pm

To read part 1 click HERE

family

Remember the family who fell in love with their new home? Remember how pretty and fresh and organized it was? Now, remember how they all felt after a few months of living in it. It got all messy and jumbled up. No one really knew where anything was anymore. Josh kept needing new clothes to be bought because he didn’t know where to put them when he changed. And Mum kept losing her important work papers because she didn’t make a space in the new house for her own desk. And Dad was annoyed with the garage not being easier to use because he had forgotten to add some shelving and storage areas along the walls when they were first moving in. Everyone was feeling sad, and Mum had already started looking for another house. And poor, sweet Ivy was almost an afterthought, often being almost forgotten as everyone rushed out the door every morning. She felt like she was just another bag of stuff to be carted around with Josh’s swim and school things.

a list

There is a simple plan to help this lovely family so they can get back to loving their lives and enjoying each other’s company and new home. It starts with small steps that are repeated everyday.

1. Gather the whole family together and share feelings and thoughts about the house and how things look and the way things run. List both positive and negative things. Someone can take notes, and remember to keep this friendly and curious. This is not about blaming or shaming.

2. Decide together what is most important from the negative side and make that the top priority that everyone will help with first.

3. Everyone take on 3 things they will personally be responsible for. Adults will need to help the kids see their own rooms and clothes etc. as their responsibility, and adults will need to take on larger tasks affecting the household.

4. Create a weekly calendar that can be repeated for 4 weeks. This is easier than launching into a month-long plan as that can seem overwhelming. Just make it a week and repeat it 4 times. Post it somewhere bright and easy to see.

5. Group hug or high five or cheer as a family to boost energy and enthusiasm for working as a team! This last step may seem cheesy, but it’s truly the glue that keeps everyone connected to the goal. And keep the cheer or high five around when you see each other complete the tasks.

Now that list may seem a little abstract, so I’ll fill in some details based on our sweet, make-believe family, to illustrate.

Success Starts Here Freeway Style Desert Landscape

Starting with step 2, our family decides that the kitchen and dining area are the most important places to start with. Food and nutrition is important for everyone to think and feel well, so they started there. Mum and Dad both agreed that whoever did the cooking, the other would do the dishes. Josh volunteered to help the washer dry and put away dishes that wouldn’t fit, or couldn’t go in the dishwasher. Dad and Josh also said they could spend 5 minutes in the morning before swim practice to unload the dishwasher. Then Mum asked Ivy if she could be in charge of sweeping the floor with the dustpan and brush as part of the clean up process, and Ivy said she would love that!

Moving on to step 3:

Mum: 1. Morning laundry, 2. Groceries, 3. daily bedroom (master and Ivy’s) and bathroom monitoring and cleaning.

Dad: 1. Evening laundry, 2. daily front hallway, closet and shoe rack monitoring, 3. daily living room cleaning and vacuuming.

Now, Mum and Dad worked on helping Josh and Ivy list their 3 tasks. Josh: 1. put worn clothes in the hamper in the bathroom before having a shower/bath each night, 2. empty lunch box and place dirty stuff in the dishwasher. 3. Using designated fridge drawer (Mum sets this up as part of groceries), pack tomorrow’s lunch.

Ivy: 1. Put toys away in bins when asked, 2. help Dad with shoe monitoring in the hallway, 3. help Mum with laundry – find matching socks and fold small items.

Step 4 needs to be as clear as possible. The most efficient use of space and time, in my opinion, is to get some fun tape (like Washi tape), and divide a white board into 7 columns and 2 or 3 rows. A narrow row at the top and a narrow one at the bottom for notes or important dates etc. The middle is for listing people’s duties. Choosing colours to represent each person is easy to see and visually pleasing. So all of Mum’s tasks are green, Dad’s are red, Josh’s are blue and Ivy’s are purple. You can choose your own colours of course! Then events that affect everyone can be black.  The only things that would change would be the dates across the top of the board, and specific events along the bottom. All jobs would stay the same for the four weeks. Organizing the rows is flexible too; if you prefer your special events nearer the top, right under the date, then do that, and keep the daily tasks in a wide row at the bottom of the board.

plain-wht-board

This white board idea is also fun because you can put little happy, messages or images on the board next to people’s jobs to say thank you, or well done, etc. And they can be erased and started again each week. I recommend a large white board so you don’t feel cramped, and mount it so that it can easily be taken down to be cleaned and written on again. And make sure those who want to write on it, can reach it easily! Those sweet encouraging notes to each other create a real magic energy that lifts everyone’s spirits!

Step 5 is pretty easy to implement. Start simple with easy high fives until you start to feel more enthusiastic. And you will as the tasks keep getting done! Some cheers or celebrations may lead to spontaneous expressions that might become special inside jokes with your family, and this creates a strong bond of fun and togetherness!

So there you go! 5 simple steps to create peace, harmony and efficiency in your home, just in time for new school routines to kick in! Now get over to  your local office supplies store and get a large white board and spiffy Washi tape and colourful dry erase markers!

Decluttering : Space : : Detoxing : Body – Part 1

In chi, Clutter, Emotions, food, Life skills, Lifestyle, mind, spirit, teaching on July 31, 2014 at 1:39 pm

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There once was a beautiful house with high ceilings, large windows, spacious rooms and a lovely warm light flooded in through those large windows. A family fell in love with it and decided to move in. They bought, beds and couches, tables and shelves. They stacked the shelves and filled the closets and drawers until everything was full. Everything had a special place, and they were happy and settled.

The new home was clean and cozy, a perfect retreat for the end of a busy day in their new town. School had its new challenges for the children, and work was tough and tiring for the parents. Most nights everyone was too tired to do the dishes after dinner. And first thing in the morning, Dad had to take Josh to early morning swim practice, and this made Mum mad and she didn’t want to do the dishes all by herself. Ivy was just too small to help her. But she did them anyway. Then Josh’s room started to overflow into the hallway, and Ivy’s toys were strewn all over the house. Dad’s shoes were never in a neat row and Mum’s work papers kept getting lost on piles of papers on the dining table – where no one ate anymore because there was no room! Josh could never find any clean clothes, so new ones would be bought. Mum couldn’t find anywhere to store her work things, so she went to Ikea and bought a bunch of lovely neat boxes to use. But when she got home, she couldn’t find a good place to put them! So they sat in the entrance way, unopened. Dad couldn’t find his golf clubs and thought he must have given them away, so he went to buy new ones. Now those live in the entrance way too. One day Ivy stumbled and fell into them, and the whole bag of hard metallic clubs fell on her and she got a bad bruise!

Mum got really angry and told Dad he needed to move the stupid clubs or she would throw them away! After a big argument Dad put his clubs in the bedroom which made it really difficult to open the door properly. Then Dad took Mum’s new Ikea boxes and yelled that she needed to do something with them because he had to move his clubs from the entrance hall, so she had to as well! So Mum took them and crammed them, still unopened into a corner of her closet, squashing all her sweaters making them all crumpled. So now everyone in the new house was sad, hurt and angry, and the house was all a jumbled mess. Getting ready to go took an extra long time, and coming home felt depressing because it was so confusing and ugly everywhere. It felt like they always had to eat in the car because they were always late and needed drive through just to stay fed. Soon Mum started looking at new houses because she didn’t like this one anymore…

 

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There was once a beautiful boy with bright eyes, curious fingers and strong legs. His name is Billy. Everyday he grew more and more and more and soon he could walk and run and chase other little children in the park and playground. He started going to school and learned to play sports and how to use his words to communicate. He had a lunch box to carry his food and always had a white bread sandwich with a slice of meat and cheese between them, a chocolate milk, a bunch of grapes and a granola bar. When he was learning his multiplication tables one day he suddenly got really tired. He couldn’t remember how to do this set of numbers, but he knew he had done it only yesterday! But then the bell rang and it was time for the nutrition break. So our beautiful boy went to get his lunchbox and have his grapes. He went to play on the monkey bars too and when he came back inside, he remembered how to do the  multiplication table! When he got home he told his parents and they were so proud they said, “You can watch an extra hour of TV tonight!”

Now Billy is 16 and he works out in the school’s gym because he is on the rugby team. You have to be strong to play rugby, and you have to be fast. So Billy lifts weights with his team mates everyday and he also goes running on the track. But sometimes he just can’t lift enough, and he feels bad because his team mates can lift more. And when they run, he is often left in the back and runs out of energy… his muscles just can’t go on. This makes him sad. But one of his team mates says, “Don’t worry about it. You’ll keep training, and you’ll get faster and stronger! I know how to make you feel better. There’s a party this weekend, you should come! It will be fun!”

At the party Billy has a blast. He drinks beer, tries smoking pot and likes it, plays strip poker with some pretty girls and falls asleep really easily afterwards. In the morning he walks home with some other guys who stayed over and they all agreed to party more often. It felt great, and it was fun. So the next weekend, they do it again. This time someone says they should order pizza, and it was amazing! That was their new ritual – order pizza at midnight to satisfy their munchies. The guys keep going to the gym and lifting and running, but the group who have the party every weekend keep getting slower, they get heavier, and some have trouble breathing while they run. So they drop out of the team. Billy tries to stay  on the team a bit longer, but he misses his buddies. So he drops off the team too.

It’s Billy’s graduation now and he has a great university offering a scholarship for him. Since dropping off the rugby team, Billy found out that he really liked gaming and that it also fit in really well with his enjoyment of partying, so he gamed a lot, and got really good at a lot of games. Then he started messing around with making his own games and this was fun because he loved numbers thankfully! But over the years of sitting at his computer, drinking pop and beer, smoking and eating fast food, he had developed bad posture, acne, and was overweight. He didn’t always feel very good, but he knew that once he got to university he would make a new start…

 

When we overload ourselves in some way and eschew a simple system to keep a basic routine, life can seem excruciatingly difficult and arduous. Stay tuned for the flip side of these two stories.

Giggling, Exercise and Orgasms – 3 Free, Natural Ways Out of Depression

In food, kwirky, Life skills, mind, Nia, Sensatioin, spirit on May 8, 2014 at 6:59 pm

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Ever feel depressed? Blue? Sad and bummed out for no apparent reason? Do you look around to blame the heavy, dark cloud of feelings on something and can’t figure out for sure what it is? Then become more depressed because identifying the reason seems like the only way to come to a solution? Or do you know why you feel so low and the solution to the problem seems insurmountable? Unapproachable? Totally beyond your control?

Depression-depression-33252772-800-707You are not alone. I am not alone. I lost my mum and then my god father within 6 months of each other, both very suddenly. Their gunshot-like deaths rocked my world and each day has been my own personal mix of tears, pain and joy. Joy from my support network of friends, family and activities I give myself. But some days, none of those things do any good. Pain and tears come far more easily now that I feel I have lost my personal support system, my mother; and work and financial problems drag me down way more than they used to.

It’s been a particularly dark week for me, and the best I could do was lose myself in the warm nest of comfort eating, Netflix and sleeping for far too long. But today, day 4 of this deep slump, I heard my mum’s voice as a lay, pretending to feel too tired to get out of bed at 1:30 pm… in her firm, yet teasing tone, “Come on! Up you get! You know exactly what to do, you lazy so-and-so!” I did have to pee, so I rolled slowly up and started to mentally plan my day: pee. make tea. watch more of the series I’m into on Netflix. eat something. make more tea. watch more Netflix…

IMG_0375It was just as I was opening the Safari browser that a photo of my mum I keep on my desktop caught my eye. She is posing with a tub of Greek Gods honey flavoured yogurt with a huge spoon and pulling a silly face. It made me smile. And I immediately remembered all the things that I can do, without much effort, that will chemically alter my brain and body state so that I do not feel as depressed. I chose my top 3 for this article based on price (free!) and ease of making them happen.

 

 

M_Id_363760_Man_laughing1. Giggling

Giggling, laughing and smiling engage specific muscles in the head, neck and core which combine with sharp inhalations and exhalations. These movements and breaths cause the brain to release endorphins – the happy hormone. Recent studies now show that laughing improves mood for this reason, and it has been shown to increase pain tolerance. (www.nytimes.com/2011/09/14/science/14laughter.html?_r=0)

So watch some funny youtube videos, read some silly jokes or comics or look at some ridiculous pictures to get yourself laughing. Here are some to get you started – bear in mind, these are my personal favourites!

Eating lemon baby faces http://youtu.be/luOU5gLeA4A

Eddie Izzard – Cake or Death? http://youtu.be/rMMHUzm22oE

Funny Talking Animals – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaPepCVepCg&list=FLtISih3v30iRGx3oSWWo8Gw&feature=share&index=39

fibro-exercise-happy-400x4002. Exercise – MOVE!

Exercise is another endorphin releasing activity, but there’s more to it than just that. Exercise also releases dopamine – the pleasure chemical. Dopamine is also released when we eat, which is a big reason why comfort eating is so popular as a way to feel better. However, regular exercise releases dopamine without the negative side effect of packing on the extra weight! Serotonin is another chemical that is responsible for feelings of happiness, restful sleep and healthy appetite. You want to keep consistent and high levels of serotonin in the body so sleeping is easy and feeling happy is easy, and regular exercise achieves this. (http://www.fitsugar.com/Hormones-Released-After-Working-Out-19252431)

Dancing is my go-to happy place!
Nia – a dancer’s Interval Training workout: http://youtu.be/AQBYXuCo6A8

This is excellent for boosting metabolism and pushing yourself to your personal edge.
HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) hard core: http://youtu.be/-dthjOzzS84

I love Pilates for targeting trouble spots, but also getting the heart rate up and sweating!
Pilates: butt blaster: http://youtu.be/7Q7L673i8OY

This gorgeous outdoor video is the prefect balance of challenge and peacefulness for me.
Sweat your turtle off! Yoga: http://youtu.be/jxLXPj84ILk

fake-orgasm3. Orgasms – A Hormonal

Reset Switch

Orgasms release a whole host of other chemicals in addition to serotonin and endorphins that promote the ass-kicking of depression!  HGH (Human Growth Hormone) is released, and this helps with renewing and repairing cells throughout the body. DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone) is a hormone produced by your adrenal glands and is linked to various anti-aging effects as well as rebuilding and nourishing effects on cells. DHEA is released before orgasm and during as well. Also, oxytocin is released during orgasm. Oxytocin is known as the love hormone and it causes people to feel increased feelings of bonding and intimacy. Orgasms are a simple and easy way to elevate these hormone levels and bring back a chemical balance to the body. This allows for either relaxation and rest, or a surge in energy and creativity. I shall not share any of my personal options for reaching orgasm, because that would be weird! But I will say that orgasm does NOT need to be reached through partner sex. (http://www.billysundaymars.com/news/nourishing-neurochemicals-hormones-released-during-sex)

3 simple tools to help you get rid of the blues. You’ve got this! ;-)

 

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